This edition of Music Video Hell ain't nothin' but a partaaaay - a 1980s partaaaaaay ! There'll be breakdancing and pizza and rainbows and Twister and balloons and a shop vac. But, sadly, no dolphins. (You'll see what I mean.) What are you doing standing there? Just get your booty in here and watch bad and/or strange music videos against your will.
BaoBab - "N.O.J.O.B."
Believe it or not, it's hard to find out anything about BaoBab. Maybe it's because they're named after a genus of trees. Or it could be that "falling into obscurity well before the rise and fall of Netscape" thing. No matter what the cause, BaoBab should still be respected for who they are: pioneers in the bringing breakdancing and Twister together, forever, as one.
Even though they're supposed to take their shoes off first...
And they're not really touching any colors, are they? Hmm.
I swear this looks less disturbing in the video than it does as a gif. I really do.
"Who let the carp out? Flop, flop, flop flop." (Get it? Instead of "bark"...yeah.)
Nah, don't worry. Pretty sure he's dancing. Yep. Nothing to be concerned about.
Trees - "India"
We continue our journey down the dark and dusty hallway that is the '80s video scene with a confusing little indie gem from Trees, who is more of a single dude with a keyboard than a full out band. He's kinda like the lovechild of Trent Reznor and Rick Moranis. As such, he has some really weird friends.
Like the Sunday school teacher who doesn't leave the house without her shop vac.
Or the sailor with the fake moustache and the girl with the fugly hat.
And this fucking guy.
What does this have to do with India again? Who the fuck cares, the pizza's here.
Thanks for introducing us to your friends, Trees. Good luck with your unholy teddy bear windmill shrine and the empty dimensional void you call a home.
And for the love of god man, use a paper towel!
Enuff Z'Nuff - "Fly High Michelle"
Straight from the purposefully forgotten realm of late '80s glam metal comes Enuff Z'Nuff, a pretty boy band that will thrash your ass into the ground but only after giving the nearest unicorn a big hug.
Okay, fine. So if you look up their actual Bio page, you'll see that Enuff Z'nuff was technically just another mismarketed Swedish power pop band. My bad. Anyway, this isn't Behind the Music, so shut the fuck up. This is Music Video Hell, dig?
Enuff Z'Nuff's video for "Fly High Michelle" is pretty groovy, man, especially if you're into far out stuff like rainbows and balloons and doves and neon pink...oh, who am I kidding. This is Lisa Frank porn.
I feel like a stagehand just threw that dove in the frame, it wasn't flying on its own. Also, that moon is out of control. Out. Of. Control.
Here's the lead singer dude. He's got the sex appeal of a 12 year old girl's birthday party. Uh, wait, I didn't mean it like that!
Shit, girl! Don't let that giant dove hurl you into the rainbow lightning storm!
Okay, nvm, girl. You good, you good.
I present to you our guitarist - Slash's nephew's second cousin's brother, Slush.
Please let a dolphin show up, please let a dolphin show up, please let a dolphin show up...
Oh, okay. Looks like that's it.